This document is intended as a suggested format for an
agreement between roommates to ensure that each individual's rights
are respected. Your level of enjoyment and satisfaction from the
apartment or residence hall living will depend, to a large extent,
on the thoughtful consideration you demonstrate for one another.
The
right to sleep with as little disturbance as possible.
The right to expect your roommate and/or suitemate
to respect one's personal belongings.
The right to live in a clean environment.
The right to enter one's room whenever one wants, unless
other provisions are made and agreed upon by your roommate and / or
suitemate.
The right to personal privacy.
The right to have guests, providing they respect the
rights of the roommate and/or suitemate and the other residents.
The right to speak out openly... ideas, opinions and
grievances.
The right to be free from physical or emotional harm.
The right
to be treated considerately and thoughtfully.
The right to expect reasonable cooperation from your
roommate and/or suitemates.
Starting with
yourself:
It is important that you enter a new roommate situation with realistic expectations.
While it would be ideal for all roommates to be best friends. This does not
always happen. Before the semester starts, start talking to each other.
This will be the best time to initiate conversation. When you go
into this conversation use these tools.
Respect for your roommate;
Attention to what your roommate has to say;
A genuine concern for your roommate;
Willingness
to compromise and communicate;
Open mind.
Introductions:
Get to know your roommate on a simple level. This is
the very basic foundation of developing a working relationship with
your roommate. Some sample foundation questions are:
How comfortable do you feel talking to me about personal
stuff?
Where are you from? What is your home like?
What kind
of things did you do at your home?
Do you have any brothers or sisters?
How did you choose this school?
Do you have a major?
What do you hope to get out of college?
What kind of organizations would you like to get involved
in?
What are some of your hobbies and interests?
Have you ever lived with another person?
What kind of music do you listen to?
Are you a morning or night person?
Do you like to be hot or cold?
Living together
details:
Now that you are settling into your new home, talk about
the "small things" that might become an issue later. Some of the
"small things" develop from the common areas.
The
living Room
How will the furniture be setup?
Whose TV / VCR will be in the living room?
How do you want to decorate the living room?
How often and who cleans this area?
At what temperature do you want to keep the apartment?
The Kitchen
How should we divide the cabinet space?
How often and who cleans the kitchen?
How often and who takes out the trash?
How often and who takes care of the dishes and dishwasher?
How do you want to decorate the kitchen?
Will we share
the grocery bill?
Can I eat your food with or without asking?
Do I need to replace the food I eat?
How do we split the kitchen equipment?
The Bathroom
How often and who cleans the bathroom?
How do you want to
decorate the bathroom?
Can I use your bathroom stuff with or without asking?
Do I need to replace the bathroom stuff I use?
Will we share the toilet paper expense?
How much time do you spend in the bathroom?
Visitors:
Guests become another issue that need to be discussed
at the beginning of the semester. It is best to decide the who,
what, when and how often before it is too late.
Are guests allowed over to the apartment?
Are guests of the opposite gender allowed over to the
apartment?
How many guests may visit the apartment?
What time may guests visit?
What time must guests leave?
May guests spend the night?
How many guests may spend the night?
May my guests eat your food with or without asking?
Do I need to replace the food they eat?
Personal Stuff:
Everyone has something that they are passionate about
or a pet peeve. These issues can really create some problems unless
they are discussed in the beginning.
The issues that I am very passionate about include...
A few things that really annoy me are...
I feel this way about drugs / alcohol...
Smoking is...
When I am angry or upset I will...
Derogatory jokes make me feel...
I like to joke about...
Follow through
and Follow Up:
Through the course of the semester issues will come up
that need to be discussed. Despite the best efforts at the beginning
of the semester, you will need to communicate with your roommate about
some issues that arise. In order to talk to your roommate about issues
that are affecting you, use the following approach:
Use "I" statements when talking to your roommate. Taking
ownership of your feelings will put your roommate at ease and less defensive
Sit on the same level. As odd as this sounds, if one
sits lower than the other then they can feel defensive. Make sure
both of you are sitting on the same size chair.
Maintain eye contact with your roommate. Give them
your undivided attention.
Get rid of the distractions. Turn the radio off, turn
the TV off, put your homework or magazine away. And most important,
there should be no other people involved, especially friends. A RA
is available to help if needed.
Avoid gossip. This is the best way to destroy a roommate
relationship.
Follow-up
with what the other person states. Rephrase the comment so that
you understand and your roommate knows you understand.
Do your best
to stick with the compromises.
Contact:
Contact: Gary Gregory,
Camden Miramar Director of Housing and Residence Life
6515 Ocean Dr. Corpus Christi, TX 78412
Phone: 361 825-5000 Fax: 361 825-5001
Email Gary Gregory
Contact: Dr. Amanda Chesser, TAMUCC Director of Housing
Phone: 361 825-2612 Fax: 361 825-2614
Email Dr. Amanda Chesser
Roommate Communications